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Everyone knows that Vitamin D is good for you – but how good is it and what does it do for stress reduction? Having just returned from a week in beautiful San Diego I was struck by the differences in the two climates. Alaska is experiencing what I call Ugly April. The snow is melting, the ice looks dirty, and there is still volcanic ash on the ground. On the other hand, San Diego was warm, clean, bright, and fresh. So, having soaked up lots of water San Diego sun, I thought I would write a lighthearted piece about the benefits of Vitamin D in reducing stress. My mistake was to look up Vitamin D and stress – the topic became way too complex.

I went to one of my favorite information sources, Wikipedia, where I learned that there are two major types of Vitamin D – D₂ and D₃. It is D₃ that we commonly refer to when talking about sunshine deprivation as D₃ is the prohormone produced when we get ultraviolet B radiation from sunlight on our skin. Vitamin D helps our immune system by helping with immune regulation and by promoting anti-tumor activity. Lack of Vitamin D causes all sorts of problems especially bone, liver, and kidney problems. Then I found some recent research from The International Journal of Cancer which suggests that intake of Vitamin D can be helpful in protecting prostrate cells from cancer.

Sometimes it’s a mistake to read too much. My simple aim was to talk about the positive benefits in terms of emotional health and psychological well-being of exposure to warm, friendly sunshine. We all know that vitamin D intake is important to our health. I think a positive outlook and a lovely climate does a lot to reduce stress. My problem now is that I have to worry about prostate cells, too much Vitamin D, and the possibility of skin cancer. I think my stress levels have risen dramatically from my newfound information.

For more strategies on stress relief refer to some of my other articles: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr_Jeff_Bailey

Warm regards

Dr Jeff

For the team at mightydigitaldownloads.com

Dr Jeff Bailey, psychologist, helps stressed patients. Why put up with stress? Learn stress management skills now.  Click here for the free What is Stress by Dr Jeff. Don’t waste another minute stressed and burnt out. Act now – learn how to relieve stress.

I get a lot of information from the Harvard Business Review papers. Here I find much of the latest research about stress, workplace stress, work behavior, emotional intelligence and a range of other important organizational factors. There is a consistent theme that emotional intelligence is one of the most essential attributes promoting (or denying) your effectiveness in the work place. Their recent research points to the important role of what they call ‘group emotional intelligence’ in meeting organizational goals and objectives. Given the amount of emphasis in most organizations on collaboration and team work this is not surprising. Obviously, if people working on a team have high levels of self-awareness and ‘other’ awareness (being able to understand and use strategies to work with the personal styles of team members) then the team will have greater harmony and increase productivity.

Many of us work in teams that are very productive; some of us work in teams that are hostile and interfere with productivity and satisfaction. Some of the key characteristics that I will describe briefly about emotional and group intelligence include the following: social responsibility versus irresponsibility; impulse control versus uncontrolled outbursts; and stress tolerance versus stress in tolerance.

Social Responsibility

At work, as in relationships, you have certain choices you can make. You can act like a mature, thoughtful, empathic, and responsible person or you can indulge what Freud called in his personality theory the id. This nasty little piece of who we are was described by Freud as blind, instinctual, irrational strivings. If you give in to your id responses, you will show very little social responsibility and you will become an aggravating and difficult colleague. Being prepared to give and take, to understand the other person’s point of view, to maintain perspective and keep a larger view, and be generous in your relationships with others will increase harmony and decrease workplace stress for you and your colleagues.

Impulse Control

One of my research areas is ADHD and a key characteristic of some people with ADHD is a diminished capacity for impulse control and self-regulatory management. Unfortunately, there are too many people in the workplace who show a reckless disregard for even a small amount of impulse control. They seem to believe that they have an incontestable right to vent their emotional eruptions whenever they feel like it and without regard to others. The converse of this is the responsible person who doesn’t elevate other people’s stress levels but carefully and effectively deals with the pressures and stress that they are experiencing.

Stress Tolerance

Everyone has a different capacity to deal with stress and anxiety. Some people have, as they say, a short fuse and are unable to tolerate even the smallest amount of stress. This is a pain and misery to everyone around them who has to put up with their limited capacity to manage stress. We can improve our capacity to deal proactively and effectively with stress; we can increase our stress tolerance mechanisms. This requires us to be mature and thoughtful and not indulge ourselves in juvenile expressions of frustration and impatience.

My message is fairly simple – if you want to manage personal stress and reduce workplace stress you have a responsibility to behave in a mature, emotionally intelligent way. I agree with the Harvard research that highly skilled work teams do reflect high group emotional intelligence and are much more productive. I’m also certain that people lucky enough be working in groups with high emotional intelligence and strong interpersonal responsibility have much lower personal stress levels and cope much more effectively with workplace stress.

For more strategies on stress relief refer to some of my other articles:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr_Jeff_Bailey

Warm regards

Dr Jeff

For the team at mightydigitaldownloads.com 

Dr Jeff Bailey, psychologist, helps stressed patients. Why put up with stress? Learn stress management skills now.  Click here for the free What is Stress by Dr Jeff. Don’t waste another minute stressed and burnt out. Act now – learn how to relieve stress. 

I enjoy Heidi Klum’s Project Runway. The success of this show was a surprise to Heidi herself and you have to wonder what it is that captures audiences. Is it (a) the diva of design and modeling herself? Is it (b) the impressive credentials of the expert judges? Is it (c) the concept of undiscovered talent – small town gal makes good in the fashion world? Or, sorry to be a bit cynical, but is it (d) the bizarre comments, attitudes and behaviors of the contestants?

The answer is, of course, (d). We have become a community of armchair voyeurs peeking into the lives and behaviors of normal, everyday people. Wait – to be truthful I would have to say that it is a BIG stretch to describe some of the people on reality shows as normal, everyday people. I don’t want to do a personality appraisal but the behavior of many of the reality contestants, inflamed by producers’ desire for high ratings, are outlandish and often disgusting. But that is not the theme of this blog.

I was amused on a recent Project Runway episode to see the amount of attention paid to the attitude of one of the finalists. The episode had more to do with attitude than design. This designer had a serious ‘attitude’ problem and was attracting a lot of negative criticism – not for her design work but for her attitude. She was constantly critical of her peers; put them and their work down at every opportunity; did and said things that made them dislike her; and upset the judges.

One of the obvious characteristics of people who stand out from the workplace crowd for their hostile attitudes is a serious lack of self-awareness. They use a style of defense called external attribution. It is always someone else’s fault that things go wrong; someone else failed to pull their weight; someone else didn’t meet the deadlines’ someone else failed to tell her what was required and when. I’m sure you get the point.

Self-awareness is one element of emotional intelligence, the father of which was Dr Daniel Goleman. EI as it is called, and self-awareness, are two of the most important indicators of successful leadership in an organization. To be healthy, collaborative, and productive in the workplace, we need to be honest with ourselves. We need to objectively audit our strengths and weaknesses. We need to work hard to present a positive and cooperative approach to our colleagues. We need to be an effective contributor on the work team. We must be respectful and courteous of our colleagues.

What happens when you have a person who is unaware of the negativity they bring to the workplace? You have work to do or else this person will stress you out of your mind. You have to develop coping skills that mean that you do not get workplace stress. After all, why should this person cause you personal stress and upset? You have to accept that this is their problem, not yours; you need to maintain a professional and respectful approach to this individual. You need to find their particular strengths and give clear support to these strengths.

To deal effectively with personal stress and workplace stress you have to rise above yourself. You have to understand the problems the stress-causer is experiencing. You have to distance yourself from the person and the stress. You have to take a ‘so-what’ attitude and attend to your own business. The more you invest in the negative, stressful person, the more you will elevate your own stress levels and fail to get stress relief. Don’t be afraid to help them but don’t let them upset your good mood and turn your workplace into stress hell! Good luck!

Kind regards

Dr Jeff

for thte team at www.mightydigitaldownloads.com 

I write about stress all the time – from a professional point of view but today I write as a ‘victim’ of stress. I am meant to be working with a group of people at Fairbanks but our Volcano ‘god’, Mt Redoubt, is very unhappy. Two large eruptions yesterday, one sending ash up to 66,000 feet, have created chaos. Flights canceled, people rushing to get safety gear for themselves and their houses, trying to find air filters for their vehicles. All of our friends have volcano kits – masks, flashlights, candles, eye protection, plenty of water – and we have to fill up any cracks or holes that might let ash into our house.

All of this adds considerable stress to one’s life – I’m not complaining. Living in Alaska is amazing –  the Iditarod, the snow, the wonderful fishing, the climate, the people. In some strange way, even having to deal with volcanic eruptions adds a touch of spice to life in The Last Frontier.

OK I’m lucky – this is not a huge deal but the situation does create extra stress; it requires me to make quick decisions, contact people, re-arrange timetables. If I can handle stress easily and productively, this will not be problematic. But what if I like predictability and certainty? Then my stress escalates. Anyway, I’ll re-read my articles on managing stress and play the wait-and-see game.

There are two ways to cope with stressors like these. I can focus on my emotions, get upset and worried, grieve about lost opportunities, get anxious about missed opportunities, even get mildly depressed. Emotion focused coping, as it is called, is a useful coping strategy as long as it does not overtake action. I encourage people to honor their emotions, however, we have to do things. I have to email the folk I was meeting; I have to set up alternative technology for what was to be a whole-day seminar. I have to arrange for materials to be emailed. I have to prepare new Powerpoints. I have to work with my team to set up either video conferencing, or Skype, or video share on Elluminate) a web based teaching tool). All of these arrangements require action – the planful, problem solving form of coping.

Oddly enough, both of these are essential coping mechanisms. But, in their own way, each adds a particular form of stress. Emotion focused coping adds internal stress (grieving, worry, anxiety, depression) while problem solving requires creative stress, organizational stress, even an emotional element – will it work?

All of this because the Alaskan volcano god decided to let us know he (or she) was unhappy. OK – so Mt Redoubt is NOT a god – just joking. It really is a vent formed by movement of the earth’s tectonic plates; a vent that permits the escape of gases, ash, and molten rock that reside below the earth’s crust. God or natural force – today it has caused me some additional work stress.

Warm regards

Dr Jeff

For the team at Mighty Digital Downloads

PS Get the impact from the Youtube video below!

Dr Jeff, a psychologist, writes about workplace stress, personal stress, interpersonal stress, and how to manage stress. On his blog,http://www.drjeffbailey.com, he answers questions from readers. He works hard to make his articles practical and helpful and all of his articles are based on sound research evidence and extensive clinical experience. Please go to his Dr Jeff blog to get your free report on stress.

What do you do when times are tough? Look at the current US economy. President Obama is making every effort to revive an economy that is in a downward spiral. Pundits are concerned about not only the current one trillion dollar proposed deficit in the national budget but the prospect of year after year of national deficit. Financial gloom meets us at every corner. Unemployment is increasing – the Bureau of Labor Statistics paints a vivid picture of job losses: “The unemployment rate rose from 7.6 to 8.1 percent, payroll employment has declined by 2.6 million in the past 4 months. The number of unemployed persons increased by 851,000 to 12.5 million in February, and the unemployment rate rose to 8.1 percent.  Over the past 12 months, the number of unemployed persons has increased by about 5.0 million, and the unemployment rate has risen by 3.3 percentage points”.

The newspapers also tell the story: many firms are downsizing or closing their doors. Nokia (dropped 1700 jobs), The Sportsmen’s Warehouse (sold off many of its shops – though not in Alaska!), Caterpillar (5000 jobs), Sprint Nextel (8000), General Motors (2000 jobs), Home Depot (8000 jobs), and even Microsoft is considering job cuts.

All of this is happening at a time when there is widespread outrage at the massive bonuses being paid to AIG executives. Today’s local newspaper gives accounts of public protests, death threats, increased police presence around the homes of wealthy executives in the ‘Gold Coast’ area of New York, warnings to employees not to wear company badges or identification, and so on. Yesterday there was talk about Congress enacting a bill to tax 90% of the AIG bonuses.

All the negative news about unemployment, recession budget deficits, job cuts etc sounds big warning bells, increases anxiety, intensifies feelings of unpredictability, threatens personal security, and elevates personal stress and work stress. Anxiety has many faces but typically we think of situation specific anxiety (e.g., test anxiety) and generalized anxiety. Anxiety is a psychological response to stress. Anxiety can manifest itself in many ways: somatically (bodily or physiological reactions like elevated blood pressure, stomach aches, palpitations, even nausea), emotional reactions (such as irritability, being short tempered, feeling tense), cognitive difficulties (inability to be able to concentrate, short-term memory lapses), and behavioral reactions (engagement in risky physical behaviors, elevated activity levels, or lowered activity).

Charles Spielberger’s early research pointed to two ‘types’ of anxiety – state and trait. Trait anxiety is a long term representation of elevated stress and consequent anxiety, almost a personality characteristic for an individual. State anxiety is short term and reactive. One of his tests of state anxiety will give you an idea of the associated feelings one has with state anxiety. Here are the key emotional terms: calm, secure, tense, regretful, at ease, upset, worried, at ease, anxious, comfortable, self-confident, nervous, jittery, high-strung, relaxed, content, over-excited, rattled, joyful, and pleasant.

Some of these are positive feelings; most are negative. In terms of overcoming the work stress, or worries about being sacked, or not being able to pay your mortgage, or pay for the kids’ college tuition fees, consider some of these words and work out a strategy. Let’s take calm and contented. Sit down with your partner and write down your specific fears. Test these fears to see if there is any evidence that what you are worried about (job loss) might happen. Make a list of all the positive things in your life. Develop a feeling of calmness, contentment and satisfaction. Give thanks for what you have and celebrate your achievements. Put a positive face on the current situation. Get rid of the negative feelings that YOU have created (feeling jittery, tense, upset, high-strung). Note that all of these negative feelings are a result of your failure to put things into perspective and maintain a positive, balanced view of life.

If things are really tough, instead of sweating it, plan for bad times. I like the idea of President Barrack and Michelle and the kids planting a vegetable garden in the White House grounds. During the Second World War people worked on what was called their ‘Victory Gardens’. This is a classic example of finding positive strategies to increase confidence and reduce anxiety – and at a catastrophic time in our history.

I am not trying to diminish the importance of facing the facts and being realistic about job losses and financial challenges. I am trying to put a positive face on the work stress and personal stress so that you deal proactively and effectively with the challenge – and so that you will suppress and eliminate negative self-talk. You CAN control workplace stress and by so doing you can make yourself much less stressed and anxious and more productive and positive. Go out and dig that garden (physically or metaphorically) and you will reduce and relieve stress. Good luck.

Warm regards

Dr Jeff

For the team at Mighty Digital Downloads

PS Some neat ideas from the Youtube video below!

My wife I are currently in Las Vegas and we are stunned by the constant news of how the financial crisis is flattening the Las Vegas economy, causing huge job loss, and creating enormous anxiety and workplace stress for local people. It is hard to imagine the extent of this downturn when we think of Las Vegas, gambling city of the world, playground for the rich and famous, a modern-day engineering marvel in the Nevada desert. Yet this amazingly wealthy city is suffering in the current financial crisis. The local newspaper reports event cancellations, revenue shortfalls, and widespread job sackings. It seems that even this famous city is not resistant to economic pressures and thousands of locals are experiencing workplace stress as a phenomenal level.

Yesterday we caught a taxi to one of the famous factory outlets and the taxi driver, a 23 year local, said he had never seen anything as bad economically in Las Vegas before. On the famous Strip, 40,000 jobs have been lost. These are, of course, service industry jobs. Waitresses, bus boys, door attendants, dealers, and all the support personnel are losing their jobs. Many of these jobs rely on tips from satisfied customers but when money is tight, tips are small.

President Obama made reference recently to the fat cat conventions being held by members of the finance industry in Las Vegas. Fear of losing the stimulus package caused many of these finance executives to cancel events in Las Vegas. The latest figures show that cancellation of conventions and business meetings has meant 111,800 fewer guests and 236,700 room nights fewer than expected. Of course, when people are in Vegas they gamble and the estimated reduction in gambling revenue for this current period is $131.6 million. This does not include, for example, spending on wine and food, shopping and tourist travel. The impact on the local economy is devastating and this downturn is causing enormous anxiety and stress at all levels of employment in Las Vegas.

For some months now there has been news of home foreclosures by the hundreds if not thousands in Las Vegas. These foreclosures have spawned a new business: a bus service that takes people from foreclosed house to foreclosed house either for gratuitous viewing or for potential purchase. What a sad time we live in.

All of these factors leave thousands of people in Las Vegas as victims of workplace stress, anxiety, fear, and depression. Even if people do not lose their jobs immediately, there is an ever present threat of job losses that makes them feel insecure, worried, and fearful. This kind of personal stress and workplace stress can be extremely disabling. It is very hard to be confident and stress free when in this city of extravagant riches there is so much uncertainty, job instability, and financial uncertainty. When we see reports that gambling revenues have declined for the 13th straight month we can imagine that people have become nervous about their jobs and their workplace stress levels have increased dramatically. Let's hope we soon see a turnaround in the economy.

Warm regards

Dr Jeff

For the team at Mighty Digital Downloads 

If you are a dad reading this blog, how does this sound? Your wife says to you one day “Honey, I think I would like to work and you can stay home and look after the kids. How does that sound?”  Your first thought was – “What a great idea.  It would be a snack to get the kids organized, too little bit of laundry, organize the shopping. I could use my project management skills from work and get this done in probably an hour a day. Then I would have the rest the day after I got the kids to school to have a workout, play tennis, perhaps join the boys for a drink at lunch time. And I wouldn't have to get dressed and go to work everyday. What a dream!”

Some of you might've watched a very young Michael Keaton play a stay at home dad in the movie Mr. Mom. I saw this movie again recently and recalled my earlier jokes to my wife (we had four young kids then) that I would be happy to stay at home. What would the reality be as good as the dream? What are the stresses that attend what is often seen as a role reversal – dad stays home and mom goes to the office?

Well guess what? In the US we have a situation where the work force is just on 50:50. In the last year or so, of the total number of those terrifying ‘you’re fired’ pink slips being handed out, 80% have been to men. We now have an enormous social transition with many men staying home, Stay At Home Dads (SAHD) to be good dads and good ‘wives’. But what of the marital stress in this new arrangement?

Well here’s the good news, in my view. Many younger men actually enjoy lots of the things they can do at home. My sons love to cook. I have friends who cook meals more often than their wives. Most of my male friends and family do not see cooking as a ‘female thing’. They also play their part in household chores. What man could ever admit that he couldn’t work a washing machine? How many men think that washing up is a woman’s work? If they do, they are probably lazy and self-centered in other parts of their marital relationship. And many men love spending time with their children. While there is a strong maternal drive in women, for many men there is an equal and powerful paternal drive.

So my first instinct is that if the man has a healthy self-image, if he is relaxed and confident in his masculinity, if he believes that a marriage is about sharing, giving, loving, and contributing in equal amounts, if his identity is not determined by his work role and setting, then he will transition to a stay at home dad very easily.

Of course, if we invert all these conditions, we will find men who cannot endure being a stay at home dad. Here is where the troubles will start; here is where marital stress will charge through the front door of the house. If the husband sees his role as ‘provider’ and if his self-perception is framed by this view, he may feel disenfranchised and (emotionally if not physically) impotent. He may have excessive concerns about what his male friends think. Will they see him as ‘the little woman?’ Will they still hang out?  Will his personal moods become more feminine? Will he be able to cope with earning less or no money, being more emotional, talking about things like diapers instead of hunting and so on. Will he be frightened that his sex life will be disrupted by the ‘boss’ coming home from the office either too tired to be interested or too dominating to meet his needs? Those men who adopt a ‘macho’ view of maleness have increased depression, anxiety, substance problems, and marital stress and breakdown AND they rarely seek professional help.

While there is very little research in the area, what is emerging is that for many men the opportunity to stay at home, be a great dad, spend more time with the kids, engage in domestic routines is liberating and enriching. A recent national survey (University of Texas at Austin, 2008) paints a different picture. Psychological well-being and partnership satisfaction increased for the stay at home dads. Closer relationships with their children, adopting a nurturing role, reconceptualizing the traditional ‘male role’ (stiff upper lip, show no emotions, be the provider etc), but they still follow ‘male’ pursuits such as fishing, hunting, talking about sport, messing with their cars and so on.

There can be issues around financial stability, of course, but these occur whenever there is only one partner earning income. In some cases, highly paid men have been sacked and their wives may well be earning significantly less than their formerly employed husbands. This will create marital stress. The upside though is that children are not put into expensive day care. Parents are happier knowing that their kids are with their primary caretaker – their dad. For many couples this feeling of security and satisfaction is infinitely more important than having a new car and a 5,000 square foot home with no mortgage. 

If you want to see how some men cope with being a stay at home dad, go to this great website: www.athomedad.org . I read the humor page which is very funny. One article begins like this: “You're sitting all alone in your house watching your newborn baby. You haven't had an intelligent conversation in months. Your only stimulant has been a cup of coffee and the smell of Pledge. You find you keep speed-dialing your wife at work even though you still have nothing to say to her.” But then the practical advice and the comments from other SAHD are wonderful.

 So, there does not have to be marital stress for a SAHD and his partner. There does not have to be depression or substance abuse. There does not have to be feelings of anxiety, despair, and loss of masculinity. For those SAHD who feel very comfortable with their choices, rather than personal stress or marital stress, there is much greater likelihood of deep contentment and joy in this growing role for men.

 Best wishes

Dr Jeff for the team

Dr Jeff, a psychologist, writes about workplace stress, personal stress, interpersonal stress, and how to manage stress. On his blog,http://www.drjeffbailey.com, he answers questions from readers. He works hard to make his articles practical and helpful and all of his articles are based on sound research evidence and extensive clinical experience. Please go to his Dr Jeff blog to get your free report on stress.

I write lots of articles about stress, especially workplace stress but as it is Valentine's Day, an important time in the annual calendar for expressions of love, an article on romance and stress seems relevant. On Valentine's Day, the romantics among us send cards, give flowers and chocolates, and take time out for romantic dinners and outings. The two Valentine symbols are Cupid and the heart. No doubt, Valentine's Day is as much about commerce as romance, with men spending twice as much as women, and over one billion cards being sent across the world. But how does romance flourish during tough economic times and what is the impact on personal and workplace stress?

Here is a simple conclusion: when times are tough people spend to make themselves feel better. They want to do things which are memorable, even extravagant. They want to feel valued and secure. They want to reduce their stress and they can do this through pleasant events, romantic interludes, and physical expression of love.

We are in the middle of one of the gloomiest financial times since the stock market crash of 1987. So how does this affect our feelings about romance and sex?

There are conflicting theories and research about the effect of sexual interest and activity during a recession. But is there a chemical basis to the sexual interest?  There are three main neurophysiological chemicals that affect our behavior: dopamine, epinephrine (adrenaline), and norepinephrine. These three chemicals are involved in arousal and stress although the main chemical seen in stress situations is cortisol. One of the earliest stages of human sexual response is called libido and we talk about people having high and low libidos in terms of the level of their sexual interest. Testosterone and estrogen are two chemicals implicated in libido but a major one is dopamine.

There are two different and conflicting points of view from the research about the relationship between sexual interest and difficult financial times as in a recession. One view is that stress causes an increase in dopamine levels and, as I mentioned above, elevated levels of dopamine increase libido. An increase in libido means an increased interest in physical and romantic relationships. So, one research conclusion suggests that Valentine's Day, recessions, and romantic and sexual interest would interact and probably reduce personal and workplace stress.

There have been reports recently of very large increases in people subscribing to websites like eHarmony, Manhunt and Match, Internet dating sites. As well, there are reports of increases in sales of sex toys around the world. From a psychological point of view, though, increased stress levels typically dampen arousal and desire. If people feel uncertain, insecure, stressed, and anxious libido is negatively affected. All of these negative feelings lower one’s feelings of self-efficacy and self-confidence. Both of these emotional states are important in terms of reducing performance anxiety and increasing pleasurable anticipation.

It is difficult to draw out the lesson from these two conflicting points of view but one of the constants in this analysis is the concept of stress. The events which surround us at home or in the workplace or in the larger society all affect our levels of stress. Stress makes us feel anxious, worried, distracted, and even tired. Stress affects our personal and our workplace relationships. Stress is manageable and requires us to work diligently to control and reduce our levels of stress. I would like to think in this time of Valentine's Day that enjoying each other romantically and physically is a great way to reduce personal and workplace stress and see the real value in our lives.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Dr Jeff

For the team at mightydigitaldownloads.com 

Dr Jeff, a psychologist, writes about workplace stress, personal stress, interpersonal stress, and how to manage stress. On his blog,http://www.drjeffbailey.com, he answers questions from readers. He works hard to make his articles practical and helpful and all of his articles are based on sound research evidence and extensive clinical experience. Please go to his Dr Jeff blog to get your free report on stress.

What you often find with these types of people is they have a serious lack of self-awareness. They use a style of defense called external attribution. It is always someone else’s fault that things go wrong; someone else failed to pull their weight; someone else didn’t meet the deadlines’ someone else failed to tell her what was required and when. I’m sure you get the point.

Related to self-awareness is the fascinating concept promoted by Dr Daniel Goleman – emotional intelligence. EI as it is called, and self-awareness, are two of the most important indicators of successful leadership in an organization. To be healthy, collaborative, and productive in the workplace, we need to be honest with ourselves. We need to objectively audit our strengths and weaknesses. We need to work hard to present a positive and cooperative approach to our colleagues. We need to be an effective contributor on the work team. We must be respectful and courteous of our colleagues.

What happens when you have a person who is unaware of the negativity they bring to the workplace? You have work to do or else this person will stress you out of your mind. You have to develop coping skills that mean that you do not get workplace stress. After all, why should this person cause you personal stress and upset? You have to accept that this is their problem, not yours; you need to maintain a professional and respectful approach to this individual. You need to find their particular strengths and give clear support to these strengths.

To deal effectively with personal stress and workplace stress you have to rise above yourself. You have to understand the problems the stress-causer is experiencing. You have to distance yourself from the person and the stress. You have to take a ‘so-what’ attitude and attend to your own business. The more you invest in the negative, stressful person, the more you will elevate your own stress levels and fail to get stress relief. Don’t be afraid to help them but don’t let them upset your good mood and turn your workplace into stress hell! Good luck!

For more strategies on stress relief refer to some of my other articles:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr_Jeff_Bailey

Warm regards

Dr Jeff

For the team at mightydigitaldownloads.com 

Dr Jeff Bailey, psychologist, helps stressed patients. Why put up with stress? Learn stress management skills now.  Click here for the free What is Stress by Dr Jeff. Don’t waste another minute stressed and burnt out. Act now – learn how to relieve stress. 

In the articles I have been writing on stress, I notice that people seem to be more interested in workplace stress than other types of stress. This is perfectly understandable as we have to spend a lot of time at work. In fact, very recent research demonstrates that the average American worker is spending more time at work than ever before. And often without extra remuneration.And, as my colleague Rowena French tells me, weight increases as stress increases!

So what causes stress at work? What is it that makes people anxious, worried, uncertain, unfulfilled, and even depressed? And why do we let work stress overcome our lives and make us miserable? Why do we spend so much time replaying a nasty incident between ourselves and a work colleague or boss? Why do we talk about work so much when we go out to party? Can’t we leave the work pressures and incidents behind and discuss healthier topics?

I know the answers to most of these questions and my first thought is this – it is hard to separate out the different parts of our life so that one does not overlap into the other. Life is about work and work can consume our life. But I also know as a therapist that we bring many of our personal issues to the workplace and this can add to the work stress we are experiencing.

When I used to provide Employee Assistance Counseling a year or two ago, I was amazed to note the research that 76% of the ‘problems’ employees sought to discuss with the organization’s psychologist were NOT work stressors but personal problems. Most therapists, including me, review a constellation of factors when identifying either personal or workplace stress. These include family concerns, finances, addictive behaviors, relationships, and work. We know that many people that we see have failed to develop and maintain a healthy and nurturing life-work balance.

So what is there about work, stress, and life-balance disorders that provide too much tension and too little stress relief? I could provide more than 20 factors in the workplace that can create organizational and personal malaise.

But, in this article, I do not want to list the obvious workplace stressors. Instead, let me tell you the very WORST workplace stressor – it is what YOU tell YOURSELF. Self-talk, the conversations we have with ourselves in our head, is what turns a workplace event into a persistent anxiety or stress. We have hundreds of these internal conversations per day, and guess what – most of them are negative and unproductive.

Negative self talk is extremely dysfunctional. Through our self-talk we convince ourselves that we are incompetent, unattractive, ineffectual, and so many other NOT-GOOD words. A simple event like a sharp or a thoughtless comment from a colleague can lead to critical self-talk, elevated self-criticisms, and a negative mood. The negative mood could be internalized (sad, anxious, worried, fearful, feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and so on) or externalized (anger, resentment, sharp retorts, criticism, socialized aggression in the form of gossip).

So how do we reduce and relieve stress? How do we stop burnout? How do we halt increasingly low morale? We convert negative thoughts into positive energy and actions. We block these negative thoughts. We replace them with positive and healthy thoughts. Sound simple doesn't it?

We can respond to workplace stress by refusing to engage in negative talk and self-blame. We can interrupt the downward spiral of the self-criticism IF WE WANT TO! Positive thought diminishes negative energy and provides stress reduction and stress relief. For more strategies on stress relief refer to some of my other articles: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr_Jeff_Bailey

Warm regards

Dr Jeff

For the team at mightydigitaldownloads.com 

 Dr Jeff Bailey, psychologist, helps stressed patients. Why put up with stress? Learn stress management skills now.  Click here for the free What is Stress by Dr Jeff. Don’t waste another minute stressed and burnt out. Act now – learn how to relieve stress.